The Soul

The Soul of the Home Fr Varghese Parappuram V C

We know that man is a union of both body and soul. Not only man but a home also has a soul. Just as man, whose soul has left him, is a lifeless body, a home that has lost its soul is a lifeless dwelling. Just a building. What is the soul of a home?

A home that has lost its soul
Once the head of a family approached me: "Father, please come and bless my house." Was it a new house I wanted to know. "No, it was constructed three years ago. It was then blessed", he said. "Why, is there any particular reason to have it blessed again?" I asked. He replied: "Yes, there is a reason, father. Of late, there have been so many problems at home: sickness, financial difficulties and lack of peace. A friend suggested I get a priest to come and bless my house."

When I called on him, I had a good look at the house. A television set, a fridge, a phone-all modern amenities were there in that fine, three-bed-room house. No apparent defect whatsoever. After the blessing, I sat down for a cup of tea. While I observed the faces and behaviour of the family members, I noticed some peculiarities. No face had a smile. No spontaneity, no laughter, no cheerfulness. A brooding, gloomy atmosphere. In the ensuing conversation I gathered that the husband and wife were waging an intense cold war; it was a year since they had spoken heart to heart; exchanges were via the children. Each expressed his or her views loudly as if to the children . The responses followed suit. In short, though living under the same roof, the warmth of marital relationship was completely absent. This attitude affected the children too. They were like puppets. To avioid meeting the wife the husband took care to reach home very late. Family prayer, consequently, was a rare event. House and home
How does a house become a home? The first sign of a home is the unconditional, spontaneous and authentic love and mutual surrender of the members. Where this love and service are absent there is only a building, no home. "A building is made of stone and mortar, but a home is made of hearts welded together", as the saying goes. The soul of a home is the love, concern, sharing, laughter and joy of the members. When hearts are as hard as stone, with no mutual relationship, no compassion for one another, there is no home, only a house.

The second factor that makes a house a home is the family prayer-when all the members join together to offer praise and thanks to God, realizing that the house, and every blessing they enjoy are gifts from him. Such are the real homes. The divine moments of such prayer keep the members united with one another in sincere, pure affection. "The family that prays together, stays together".

To put it in a nutshell, the love the family members have for one another, and the fervour of their prayer, constitute the soul of the family. Where these two factors are lacking, the home becomes a lifeless house, bereft of the animating spirit. It is just a building. People living in such houses will have no happiness or prosperity. On the contrary, strife, illness and failure abound. Gradually such houses become "problem houses".

Where there is no love there is no God
Just because a picture of the Sacred Heart is placed at the entrance of the house, it does not follow that the strength and presence of Jesus is ensured in the home. Where there is no love, it is not God's Spirit but the spirit of strife that reigns. "Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God; for God is love"(1 Jn 4:7-8). "We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love remains in death"(1 Jn 3:14).

If a home must receive the peace Jesus gives, there must be in that home sons of peace. That is, it must be a home of peace and love. "Whatever house you enter, first say, 'Peace be to this house!' And if a son of peace is there, your peace shall rest upon him; but if not, it shall return to you" (Lk 10:5-6). Does not this mean that if there is no love among the household members, installing holy pictures or getting the priest to bless the house repeatedly is of no avail?

It is not enough if the family members have love for one another. This love must spill over into the neighbours, countrymen, in fact, into the whole world. Salvation is far from those who live deceiving others. When Zaacheus gave up a life of deception and exploitation and decided to live a life of genuine love and sharing, Jesus said, "Today salvation has come to this house" (Lk 19:9).