A Channel of Grace
A fashion-crazy, arrogant
and stubborn dare devil-that was I. Yet somehow I never failed to attend
the novena to Our Lady on Saturdays. As a teacher of German in Yuvadeepthi,
SB College, Changanacherry, I used to help the students procure a visa
from the German consulate in Madras. Eventually, I too obtained a visa
to go to Germany where I passed the MTA and got employed in Switzerland.
Soon after, I was married. God blessed me with two children.
In my arrogance I was proud
that I achieved all that I wanted and the mad desire to achieve still more
gradually weakened me mentally. This resulted finally in physical illness.
I began hating everyone and flaring up for silly reasons. During my college
days I had been a good actress. I now put on a show of apparent happiness
while deep down I was miserable. With the birth of the third child, my
BP rose incurably high. Nevertheless, enjoyment of pleasure and luxury-that
was my life - style. I was so wretched, that the only way out seemed suicide.
At any cost I was determined not to reveal to any one that life was becoming
unbearable.
Someone, at this time, passed
on a copy of Vachanolsavam to me. I began experiencing peace and
the love and providence of God. "I must see for myself if all that is written
in Vachanolsavam is true"- this was my next quest. In 1992 February I declined
from attending the inauguration of the Catholic Syrian Bank branch in our
shopping complex and prepared to go to Muringoor with my children. There
was fierce opposition from my family but a strong power was urging me on.
"While everything is a gift,
why be proud as if it were yours?" These words which I heard during the
retreat at Divine, touched me to the quick. During Praise and Worship,
I gave full vent to all my suppressed feelings of pain by crying my heart
out. To cry had hitherto been a disgraceful thing. During counselling,
I lay bare my whole life before the Lord.
God blessed me with the
gift of repentance. Up till then I had considered confession only as a
formality. During the retreat an ardent desire to confess took hold of
me. I could only burst out weeping in the confessional. On the last day
peace entered my heart. I was delivered from the anxiety and worry of worldly
desires. My entire family was blessed with peace and joy.
I was on fire to spread
this God-experience and joy that I had to others in Switzerland. As a result
of this intense desire and fervent prayer, my family and I began, at personal
expense, organizing retreats by Fr Naikomparambil. God enabled us to organize
retreats in more than 53 places. Thousands of people experienced happiness
and divine love and were liberated from the darkness and blindness of sin
and entered into the light of God's glory.Praise, adoration and thanks
to the Lord who is blessing us with innumerable graces every moment!
Lily Alex,
Huttenstreet,
Zierick,
Switzerland