God-Experience in the Light of Faith
 
 
(Vassula Ryden is among the most prominent mystics in Europe today. The parents of the fifty six-year-old Vassula belonged to the Greek Orthodox Church. Vassula had to take up residence in different countries of the world as and when her husband, an official in the Food and Agricultural Organization (FAO), was transferred from place to place. All those years she lived in great worldly pomp and splendour moving in the higher echelons of society. She won name and fame as a fashion model, a tennis champion and an artist. For thirty years after her marriage who never stepped into the Church except on some public occasions. But towards the end of 1986 this housewife, who was living a secular life, began receiving revelations from God. These revelations are published in nine volumes of her book "True Life in God", in English and several other world languages.
 
Below are some extracts from her discourse given at the Divine Retreat Centre, Muringoor.
 


You are here and I am here only because of the mercy of God. There were several obstacles to our coming to India. But God won the final victory. He triumphed. Thus we are here.
 
I should like to give you a sketch of my back-ground. It is twelve years now since I received this prophetic gift. During this period God was dictating the things I should write. I have been receiving these messages from God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Likewise, the Blessed Virgin Mary has also been speaking to me. I have been called to this ministry with no merit of my own. I once asked our Lord Jesus why he chose me for this mission. I was not one who prayed. I hardly ever gave him a thought. Neither was I a church -going individual . I knew nothing about the spiritual life. "Why then have you come to me, Lord Jesus? Why have you been speaking to me?" I asked . He answered me, "Didn’t you know that wretchedness, attracts me? In your wretchedness, I shall reveal my mercy. I shall make it clear that I am everything in your nothingness".
 
I am married and have two sons. One is 26 and the other 21. I am an ordinary housewife like anyone else. And yet the Lord Jesus came to me. He asked me to receive his revelations . It was my guardian angel who first visited me. When he appeared to me, I was wonder-struck. People asked me, "How do you see and hear him?" I see him in a vision within myself. I am able to discern God’s voice in my heart of hearts. I can hear clearly what he says. Likewise, I am able to grasp all these divine revelations through an interior light of wisdom. This is how I receive God’s messages.
 
The angel speaks to a person who has never heard of divine matters. You imagine that situation. These are the words my guardian angel first said to me, "God is near you. He loves you." But those words did not touch me, as I did not then know how to love God . So my angel led me through my sinful state not as I would see it but as God saw it. When I first saw my sins as they really were, I was stunned because I saw them as God saw them. When we sin we say, "We shall go to a priest and make a good confession." But we do not realize that there is a vagueness about our confession. We often do not see ourselves as we are. It is a great mercy to see ourselves as God sees us. It is only then that we see the gravity of our sins. When my guardian angel showed me the exact state of my sins, I burst into tears. I kept weeping for three weeks. Every day my angel would appear to me and ask, "Did you not commit such sins?" My tears continued to flow. I began to realize how grievously God was offended by my sins. I saw God in deep grief. He has been bestowing innumerable blessings on us. But we ignore them; overlook them. God is pained at this. Every day he gives us his grace. We do not acknowledge them; do not even understand how merciful he is. This is what pains him most.
 
Perhaps you may ask, "What are these mercies, blessings?" Take for instance, the clothes that you wear- they are God’s gifts. Your health- that is his mercy. When you go home, you have a shelter above your head-that is also God’s gift to you. When you open the fridge, you see food stored in it. That is a blessing. All the good things God has given you are his gifts given freely. Unfortunately, we often do not value his goodness enough. We generally consider them as our due. We even think they are ours. We do not thank him sufficiently for the daily mercies he bestows on us; neither do we praise him. We take these gifts for granted as if we deserved them. This is a great error, because God can, at any moment, withdraw his gifts. Just as in the Old Testament God left Job for some time deprived of all the goods of this life, God can leave us totally to ourselves, in a helpless condition. But God loves us tenderly. He is full of affection. He, therefore, satisfies all our needs every day with great concern.
 
I began to repent deeply of all my sins. Thus I became interiorly purified and renewed. It is only through repentance that we attain love. You need to grow in the love of God. Do not just say that you have repented, you are renewed, and then remain inactive. Repentance is a ladder that reaches to heaven. Every rung of the ladder is a stage of transformation that leads us to heaven. Spiritual life is not a stagnant life. It is creative because God expects us to be perfect like himself. But we are very far away from God. We must, therefore, pray for more grace from God, for the renewal and rejuvenation of the spiritual sense that is dead or dormant within us.
 
After this act of purification, the angel said to me, "You must read the Bible." I did not have a Bible. At that time I was living in Bangladesh. I said, "This is a Muslim country. It is not possible to purchase a Bible in this country." But I was actually thinking to myself "If I go about with a Bible, what will my friends say? They are all people who give no thought to God. My closest contact is with those in the sports club. Most of them are tennis players. What will such people think and say when they see a Bible in my hands?" You can understand my deplorable state of mind at that time. My angel told me to get a Bible from the school library nearby. I went there and got one. The angel said, "Read the Bible." When I opened it, my eyes fell on the Psalms. It was in English.But I could not understand a word. God made me realise I was in complete darkness. God’s words were all there, but I could not understand anything. So I closed the Bible. I understood why God let me go through an experience that made me see my sins as they really were.
 
After three weeks of this harrowing inner experience of purification I heard for the first time God the Father speaking to me. This was a new insight. I could not believe that the voice of God the Father could be so gentle and loving. I could never have imagined how very fatherly it could be. I was amazed. My soul had become totally absorbed in it. All of a sudden I realized I am his child and he is my Father. I experienced him as a loving Father.
 
(to be continued)