"Lead kindly light", sang Cardinal Newman begging God to guide him step by step. Time was when I could never think of such a self-surrender. I was sufficient for myself. Besides my well-paid job, there were two Furniture Show rooms in my wife’s name and attached Interior Decoration wing, Plywood Mica Glass House, partnership in a big hotel-immense wealth that made me forget my spiritual bearings.

High connections in political and business circles and leadership positions in the Bank Workers’ organisations led me to an increasing addiction to alcoholism. My time was spent mostly in VIP clubs, drinking and playing cards.

It was my wife Lily who led me to repentance. When reproof was of no use, she spent her lonely nights alone with God praying for my conversion. The fruit of her prayer was utter bankruptcy. But it helped me find my God. " Do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, or lose heart when you are punished by him; for the Lord disciplines those whom he loves, and chastises every child whom he accepts" ( Heb 12:5-:6).

In 1987 I was suspended from my bank job. The reason was alcoholism. To drown my sorrow I drank still more. In the end in 1992 I lost my job. My wife begged me to attend a retreat at Divine. I had no interest in it at all . But one Saturday, though fully drunk as usual, I felt an inner impulse to go to Divine. Joyfully Lily accompanied me.We met Fr. Panackal and told him my whole story. Father advised me to stay on for two weeks at Divine. They were days of spiritual regeneration. "As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. " ( Ps 42:1-2). I realised that this thirst for God could not be satisfied with liquor or wealth. I returned home as a new man. For two years the spiritual strength stored up during the retreat, kept me on the straight and narrow path. But slowly the old man in me became assertive. As I knew the way to salvation I immediately took the right step. Fr Panackal advised me a three weeks ‘ stay at Divine. I decided never to return to the old scenes of temptation. It is two years now that I have been working as a volunteer at Divine. For the last one year I have been in the administrative office.

I cannot forget the mercies of the Lord even during the time I went my erring way. While I was under suspension, my elder son passed the interview and test and was duly appointed in the Bank. The other two sons are doing well in their business concerns. They have not inherited their father’s vices. Thank you Jesus!

I boast now of no wealthy connections or business ventures. But loving fellowship gives me great peace and joy in my home. We discuss and decide all matters together amicably. "Glory to God on high and peace to men of goodwill." This God on high is God of my family too. Praise you Jesus! Thank you Jesus!