The Vocation of Suffering
God called me to suffer
 
Bro Xavier Thalisserickal V C
 
Bro Xavier was called by God to be a Vincentian priest. He accepted the call, completed his minor seminary training and novitiate and began his study of philosophy. By the time, both his kidneys became inactive. Currently, he is undergoing dialysis. Having become sick at this young age, he has had to undergo severe pain and great discomfort. This has led him to reflect on the passion of Christ, his death and resurrection. These lines penned by Xavier and signed by his life’s suffering, will certainly give hope and strength to those who are struggling in the maelstrom of affliction.
"Now during those days he went out to the mountain to pray; and he spent the night in prayer to God. And when day came, he called his disciples and chose twelve of them, whom he also named apostles" (Lk 6:12-13) Thus, along with the call to be a disciple, some receive another call. That is the divine call to suffer. Besides taking man to the higher aspects of faith, this call helps him to be more closely united with Jesus. It was through his passion that Jesus saved the human race.

We can read in the Gospels about the intense pain and suffering Jesus underwent for each man to make reparation for his sins.

They stripped him of his garments (cf Mt 27:2) and plaited a crown of thorns and placed it on his head(cf Mt 27:9). They spat on him, struck him on his head (27:30). When he was thirsty they mixed gall with wine and gave him to drink (27:34). They crucified him between two thieves (27:35). Jesus cried out aloud and breathed his last (27:50).

Why did Jesus take upon himself such suffering considered so cruel and barbaric in the eyes of the world? This suffering was a prediction of the glory of the resurrection. It was also redemptive. In order to redeem man, trapped in the mire of sin, God abandoned his own Son to burn in the fires of suffering.

What is the position and call of a disciple? Disciples are not only preachers of the word, but also those called to suffer. The place of suffering is on a par with other basic requirements of discipleship. "If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me" (Lk 9:23).

As in the case of all vocations, the vocation to suffer also calls for courage to face many crises. Despair, anger, hatred, loneliness, abandonment, fear of death, inclination to commit suicide, self-hate, a sense of loss regarding life, a feeling of being forsaken or of being a liability, self-accusation--all these lead to critical moments in the life of those called to suffer. It is possible that these may take an individual away from God and extinguish the fire of his love. They can also destroy the hope of life after death and pitch him into the ditch of desperation and eternal grief.

Jesus hanging on the cross, cried out, "Father, into your hands I commend my spirit. Having said this, he breathed his last" (Lk 23:46). What could have been the reason for Jesus crying out loudly? Could it not have been the fear that his suffering and pain might separate him from the Father’s burning love?

Our Lord Jesus who cried out aloud in the extremity of pain at the moment of his death, will give us strength in the personal grief of our life of suffering. In the depths of affliction, it will steady us with the anchor of the Father’s love. This hope makes us worthy to endure our crosses and induces us to embrace suffering with joy.