When my eyes fell on the handicapped, my thoughts flew to those who were hale and hearty and to myself whom God had preserved so long with no illness. That was an incentive to look deep into my past life.

I had gone to the Andamans to take up a job in a press and to avoid the ridicule of those who were better off in life. Very soon I was able to adjust to the new environment, new people and place. But along with it I acquired new and evil habits. Alcoholism and smoking became my second nature. Forgetting God’s goodness, I sullied my body by subjecting it to vices. The poverty and distress of my family back home did not deter me from going my wicked ways-a respectable man during the day and a scoundrel at night.

After three years in the Andamans, I entered the police department as a constable. This situation worsened my life of sin. I forgot God completely. Getting married and having two daughters did not make me return to my senses. Marital problems became more acute. For several years I was completely cut off from the Church and the sacraments. Days went by with my wife praying and weeping incessantly for me. That too came in for my ridicule. Physically, I was quite healthy but unaware that my soul was completely dead. One day while passing by a church where a Bible convention was taking place, I felt a sudden impulse to enter in. I sat down for some time, was totally distracted and left the Church. But the sins I had committed began coming to my consciousness. I lost my peace of mind. The fear of death overtook me. I went about with a dagger hidden on my waist. But my Lord was following me. At the next convention I became fully absorbed in listening to the word of God. On the third day I was strongly convinced that God’s word was aimed at me. My sinful past became clearer and clearer to me. God’s love that pursued me inspite of my sinfulness, smote my soul. I yearned to confess my sins. With an intense longing to become a new man and great compunction, I admitted all my sins before God. That night I opened my Bible and read Psalm 32. Jesus began working in my soul thereafter and taught me to read the word of God and prepared me to enter deep into its meaning. I gave up my drinking habits totally and all other evil habits. The Lord had mercy on me. Peace began to reign in my home. I realised I was safe in God’s hands. He gave me back all that I had lost. I thought about the lives going to waste without being aware of so great a love as God’s. He gave me strength to pray for such people, to guide them to God, to take part in group prayer, and to preach the word of God. In the meanwhile, God gave me and my wife the grace of a week’s retreat at Potta.

I became a new man. And now I am involved in the work of evangelisation in the midst of my official duties as a head constable. Though often enticed by my former colleagues to slip back into the old ways, I can firmly resist the temptation. I realise more and more that our God is a caring God. Sorrow and joy, complaints and gratitude-everything I surrender at the feet of my Lord Jesus. He is ever faithful, ever loving. Help me dear Lord to be true to you on my part. When I think of your kindness, mercy, providence and love, how can I help praising and thanking you!