God's Unconditional
Love
In October 1997 there was
a Bible Convention and Healing Service held by the Potta Team in Anand,
Gujarat. Owing to my ill-health, and the ' intelluctual reservations I
had fostered, I had no intention of going for it. But at the persuasion
of a friend, who said that I could at least be present there to pray for
the sick and infirm, I did go.
Two years earlier I had
undergone a heart by-pass surgery. A few months later, I suffered from
Meige's syndrome. (insufficient blood- supply to a section of the brain
as a consequence of which my head keeps moving and my jaws are so unaligned
as to make speaking and eating difficult ). This was followed, some months
later, by problems in my left arm. I began to lose sensation in the fingers
and experienced severe pain in the shoulder. I could not find a comfortable
position to sleep. It was a source of anxiety since I am a writer , and
use the computer a lot.
On the last day of the Convention
, at the Solemn Benediction, we were asked to raise our hands and praise
God. I suddenly experienced a change in my left arm. The pain seemed to
have disappeared. I could not believe it. After the service my attention
went constantly to my arm. It felt normal. That night I had no difficulty
in placing my arm in a comfortable position in bed. The next day I found
the arm strong and healthy. I could lift even heavy things with it. Moreover,
sensation had returned to the fingers.
I must confess that it took
me another full day of 'experimentation' with the left arm - to test its
strength, to finally acknowledge that a miracle had taken place. In just
one moment of Grace, my arm had been restored to complete normalcy. Of
course , I was deeply touched by this intervention of God. No doubt, innumerable
times in the past I have experienced his Providence, and I do rest assured
in his unconditional love. But this miracle was a 'quantum leap' in
faith. I felt deeply touched by the fact that out of 20,000 people
assembled there, God had reached out to me in a significant way, to confirm
my conviction that I am unique to him, and deserving of his particular
love and care. Since then, I have become more prayerful than before , and
more trusting in his love.
I have a serious question
for God, though. Why did he not cure me completely? Why only my arm? That
is still a mystery to me. On the other hand, I am deeply grateful to God
for my sickness, because of the tremendous healing that I have experienced
so far through it. There is very much that I have learned from suffering.
I continue to pray for a complete cure, but without any anxiety, leaving
it entirely in God's hands.
I also thank God that I
am not in such a bad way as other patients I know.Though I cannot handle
administrative responsiblilites and I cannot speak easily so as to continue
teaching and counselling, I am at least able to work at my desk. Apart
from my four published books, four others will be released soon, and three
more in the near future. Praise the Lord!
Fr Hedwig Lewis,
S J
St Xavier's
college, Ahamedabad 380 009